tpm_flashback | In My End Is My Beginning by Lilith Sedai

It was brought to my attention that my first rec had already been recc'd. Therefore I feel obligated to give you a fresh one.

:::Looks around to see if this one has been done before:::

My second offering for reality check Wednesdays:

In My End Is My Beginning

Author: Lilith Sedai
Pairing: Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan
Category: AU, extreme angst, first-time
Rating: NC-17
Warnings and Spoilers: time-travel. Jedi Apprentice 1 and 2, TPM

Authors webpage is inactive right now (At least for TPM. Bill the pony's Bill's Paddock is still active for LOTR)
Author's LJ

cara_chapel

Link to the story: http://www.masterapprentice.org/archive/i/in_my_end.html

Reason for recommending:
Here is a reality check story with a twist! We start with reality then we step into the uncharted waters of "what if?" What if Obi-Wan had a chance to change things. Could he? Would the consequences be good? All of us in 'denial-land' would like to believe the answer to that is a resounding 'yes!' But don't be fooled. This story probes the reality of our emotions and choices and the consequences. It gives us a chance to actually fear the worst. There be heavy angst here!

Obi-Wan automatically brushed back the fall of his hair from where it tickled in his eyes. It was at the awkward stage -- six months' growth out of his Padawan buzz, far too short to tie back, just long enough to hang in his eyes and catch in his mouth. He was finding it exceptionally difficult to concentrate. He had been for some time, really. He scratched half-heartedly at his short beard. He knew he was only growing his hair because it reminded him of Qui-Gon, but the soul healers' suggestions to that effect had met with hostility and resentment. Obi-Wan would do as he pleased in this matter.

++++++++++

The above piece is the very first paragraph. From the beginning, the story introduces the mental state of Obi-Wan. We can feel the anger and the grief rolling off him in waves despite his best efforts to remain a serene Jedi Master to young Anakin. The angst is thick and well done. No sap here. Sheer breast-beating, heavy emotion.

The time travel method is believable. It is total serendipity, if you wish. The sex is hot. (It's Lilith Sedai, for goodness sakes! I don't know that she can write sex any other way!) There is a sheer reality to the raw emotions displayed by Obi-Wan that makes him such a very solid, tangible character in this story. The story explores the anatomy of grief as well as the possibilities for disaster resulting from getting what you wish for.

The story ends well but only after many rough patches. It is a wonderful free-fall of emotions. Dive in.

:::Looks embarrassed::: Thanks,

splix! :)