The Humanoid Sexual Techniques series by 'Chelle

[mrshamill.livejournal.com]

Doncha think it's about time SOMEone recced something funny? (I hope I'm doing this right....)

Title: HST 01-10
Author: 'Chelle
Rating: ranges from PG to NC-17
Pairing: Q/O
Warnings: Absolutely none.
Summary: Humanoid Sexual Techniques series: Obi Wan teaches sex ed, Jedi style -- with a little, uh, help from his master.
Author's e-mail, web site and/or LJ id: I wish I knew -- I'm hoping someone reading this will let me know what her email is!
Link to story: http://www.masterapprentice.org/archive/h/hst01.html (number one)

Reasons for recommending: These were some of the first stories I read on the archive. They are completely hilarious and extremely hot, even embarrasing at times. Poor virgin!Obi-Wan, forced to endure having his master help him teach a class on sex ed. What will happen? Will this mean they actually have sex? Will they have to demonstrate it to the class (all of whom are asking for it)? Will Qui-Gon be able to squeeze into one of those little desks with a boner? Will they ever get to the hetrosexual part of the class? Taken altogether, they're less than 200K, and worth every moment of it.

Quote from story: (from HST #7, Anal Intercourse: The Class They were still kissing when Yoda entered the room. "Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, demonstrating again, are you? Thought Oral Stimulation level one was days ago, I did."

Obi-Wan did not make any effort to move. "It was Master Yoda. We're just practicing for the final exam."

Yoda's ears picked up slightly. "Obi-Wan, instructor you are. Need to take final exam you do not."

Obi-Wan turned and thumped his master on the arm. "You lied to me. How could you?" he exclaimed and ran from the room.

Yoda watched the door close behind him. "Funny, that was not."

"No."

"Mischievous, your Padawan is."

"Yes, Master. Almost as mischievous as a certain Jedi Master I know."

Yoda nodded slowly. "Master Windu."

"No, a short Jedi Master."

"Adi, mischievous as well."

"A short, green Jedi Master."

"Yaddle," Yoda agreed sadly. He looked up at Qui-Gon widening his eyes and allowing his ears to droop. "Many jokes, played on me, she has."

"No, Master. A short, green Jedi Master who is very familiar with the sound of Galactic Get-Offs patented self-powered motor, and in possession of an annoying tendency to interfere in other people's private affairs."

"How private you think it is, when conduct demonstrations you do? Hmmmm?"

"We were not conducting any demonstrations when you told Obi-Wan that I am always on the bottom."

"Ahhh. Sad for you, I was, my Padawan. Never to know that exquisite tight heat, you were."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "So you felt compelled to discuss this supposed misfortune with my apprentice?"

Master Yoda raised himself to his full height. "No. Preventing his fall, I was. Envied you he did. Wish to lose another apprentice did you?"

A long sigh. "No, Master."

"Well, then, help you I did."

He never won. Qui-Gon hung his head. Not even when Yoda was blindingly, obviously wrong. He still never won.

"Besides got you hot monkey sex, I did."

Comments

[bant.livejournal.com]

That series brings back some memories. But it was definitely the humour behind that makes it stick in my mind.

[majilique.livejournal.com]

This has got to be one of the funniest series of stories written. Great rec, T.

[gloriana.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, a great excuse to read all these again :) I'd forgotten how hot they were at the time, and how that heat is generated by that great mix of embarrassment and affection between Qui and Obi. Thanks, Terri.

[ravenslost.livejournal.com]

:: cough, cough :: 'Chelle = mmmchelle