Conflicting Loyalties by Trudy West

[gloriana.livejournal.com]

Title: Conflicting Loyalties
Author: Trudy West
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Q/O
Warnings:
Trudy warns for 'brief reference to sexual abuse of a minor'.



















Author's e-mail and LJ id: email to truwest@hotmail.com; lj username truwest
Link to story: http://www.masterapprentice.org/archive/c/conflicting_loyalties.html
Reasons for recommending: Here's a long, serious story to balance out the sweet titbit from Augusta that I recommended last week. Trudy burst upon an unsuspecting M-A when at least two generations of fans had come and gone, and the thought of a vibrant new author was something to salivate over. So were her stories. Conflicting Loyalties is particularly ambitious in its scope: it begins with Qui-Gon's death, and then takes us to six years later, when Obi-Wan finds someone he didn't expect on Tatooine...and that someone isn't expecting, or welcoming, him either. Angst? Sexual tension? Trudy is a queen of both.
Quote from story:

Odd, he had never thought of himself that way, as a celibate, but it was true that he hadn't been intimate with anyone, ever. It never seemed to fit into his life. In his early years he had been waiting, unable to go to anyone else for love of Qui-Gon. Then after his Master's passing, the thought of any other lover was a disappointment compared to what he might have had. And now, much later, he had no time or emotional reserves for a long-term relationship, and no interest in a short one. That left him with what he had always had: nothing.

He did retain a hidden weakness for a certain type: tall, stern-faced human males, particularly those devoted to noble causes: protesting their governments, serving the poor and oppressed, healing the sick. Especially if they happened to have long hair. He never acted upon his attractions, and no one knew of this chink in his armor, except his ever-present, ever-observant Padawan. Upon meeting such a one, Anakin would say to Obi-Wan under his breath, "He reminds me of Master Qui-Gon" and Obi-Wan would nod, glad to hear the sound of his Master's name. Anakin would smile his conspiratorial smile.

Extra comments:
Three things I love most about this story:

• An Obi-Wan who is calm, controlled and effective, while bleeding to death inside - who can resist that?! It's so in character, and so delicious.


• A Qui-Gon who breaks all the reader's expectations, is a little bit wild, a little bit shocking and very intimidating - and yet you can still see the Jedi master underneath


• The way the story and Neruda's poetry, quoted extensively in the text, illuminate each other. You can skip the poetry if you want, but it's one of the most sensitive uses of this sort of quotation in a fanfic that I've come across yet

Comments

[the-haunt.livejournal.com]

This was such a fantastic story. I never really appreciated angst until I read Trudy fic. :) I remember how lonely I felt reading this – the Tatooine landscape and atmosphere were perfectly woven into the story. Wonderful stuff!

[gloriana.livejournal.com]

Yeah - I was in tears so often reading it! Partly because Obi-Wan himself doesn't cry: with the character so determined to be strong, you can really wallow in his sorrows...