Darth Maul -v- Divine Oscillations

[ausmac.livejournal.com]

TITLE: DARTH MAUL V DIVINE OSCILLATIONS
Author: Darth Ha'lo K'tee
http://www.siubhan.com/sithacademy, then search for the story.
Livejournal - darthhellokitty
Unrated
No warnings


Just to show you I don't only rec angst/dark fic...

Sadly you can't write and tell the author what a very funny story this is, as no address is supplied. However, you can enjoy it, and a good chuckle.

Like many of the Sith Academy stories, this is Not a Serious Work. In this twisted universe, Darth Maul shares an apartment building with Obi-Wan, and has a cat of naturally evil cat-like nature called My Apprentice. In this particular gem, Darth Maul is sent by his master on a rather unusual shopping trip.

With lines like:

"Ah, there was the remote, under the "Sith Lords Kick Ass" needlepoint pillow Sidious had insisted he stitch to build his patience (and more rage -- These girly crafts are a lot harder than they look, Maul mused)."

Or

"Refer to my ass, will you? I'll launch you into orbit with my lightsaber as a retro-rocket, you creepy little... Maul caught himself before his rage erupted -- Yoda was a disgusting little toad, yes, but useful, especially if he was selling quality imported weapons. "Yes, yes, very good. My Master and I will humiliate our enemies prior to their slaughter!"

"Not very consensual does this sound!" scolded the tiny Master with a chuckle. "Your kink is not my kink, but a safeword I would recommend in such a scene! Anything else may I get you, hmmm? A sale we are having on certain anatomical adapters, the convenience of those who desire the physically incompatible for! Gungan to Corellian, a tasteful commitment gift could make!"

It is totally, outrageously fun. Sometimes, the Force can be very funny.